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View Profile ZeeAk
Gamertag: ZeeAk.

Zac @ZeeAk

Age 30, Male

Cinema usher.

Queensland University of Tech.

Logan, QLD

Joined on 3/7/06

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"So Did I."

Posted by ZeeAk - July 21st, 2010


"I've missed having you around." Her words were smooth and comforting, like cold water on a hot day. We were sitting across a wooden, circular table, opposite each other. My pocket, as always, carried two metal objects. Given their omnipresence, I often felt like one of Tolkien's two particular Hobbits. Her soft gaze pressed into mine. "I'd miss me, too." I joked, rather solemnly. She chuckled, a sweet, innocent laugh. Beautiful white teeth permeated the dim lighting. Her teeth weren't perfect; one was on a slight angle, and she as really self-conscious about it. All the times I'd told her it didn't matter didn't do anything to ease the pressure she put on herself.

I looked up. "They say you never know what you have until it's gone." I began, not quite sure what to say next. I clasped both my hands around my half-full glass of water. "But I knew. I knew what I thought we had. Now that it's gone, I'm not so sure." I paused for a second. "Hell, maybe they were right."
She eyed my carefully. "What do you mean? I thought you said -" She began, before I interjected.
"Maybe I didn't know that I had nothing until the source of that nothingess was gone." I took a swig of my water. She looked visibly hurt, and spoke her next words quietly. "I didn't tell you that I honestly miss you so that you could have a go at me."
I tried to feel bad, but I couldn't. My heart felt dead, but my mind, and my lips were as alive as ever. "I suppose you felt that a year later would be best to tell me this?" My words were strong, and harsh. "I've not seen you in a year!" She tried to defend herself, weakly.

With those words, that feeble excuse, I felt my heart rip open, and a year's worth of anger, resentment and hopelessness spilled out. "I haven't bloody well moved. Or changed my number, or my Facebook. And you say you're offended now? I didn't tell you I love you every time I could so that you could leave me alone in this evil little word!" My hand reached into my pocket, and grabbed the two metal bands. She was just about in tears, as I began to feel I was making a crescendo.
"I'm sorry." She muttered, between suppressed sobs. My fingers wrapped around the metal, and I slammed my hands onto the table.
"I didn't c -" My voice gave out as tears began to well in my eyes. "I didn't carry these around for months, waiting, because I ever wanted to hurt you." My fingers slowly uncurled, and my hand, almost poignantly, revealed two rings. My body was trembling as a salty drop trickled from my eyes. Her hands covered her mouth, as she saw the rings. "My God."

I'd hit my crescendo, but I still had things to say.
"I have money, respect, freedom; everything a goddamn autocrat could want. But I'm not an autocrat. I'm a lonely little man who, a year ago, had absolutely everything, with the world at my fingertips. You empowered me. You made everything I had, did or thought worthwhile and meaningful. I wanted your love every day of my life. But you didn't want mine. You just upped and left me."
I wiped tears from my eyes.
"Now it's my turn." I stood, watching my once prospective fiancee cry a river of tears onto the hard word. Without looking back, I thought of everything we'd done together. The list was extensive.

I felt the building, a quiet little club, with light pockets, but a heavy heart. Still shaky, I grabbed my phone from my pocket, and speed-dialled a number. She answered.
"What goes around comes around." She stated concretely.
"Yes," I replied. "It does."
"I love you."
"So did I."
I hung up, and continued my long walk home in the semi-darkness of the street lights.


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