Like wise to John. You seemed to be focused on a sturdy complex vocabulary which is why you had those grammatical errors. I figured about half way through that he was immortal but you pulled the ending off without being too clichéd.
It may seem like an insult but try and dumb down your vocabulary, if the reader gets tripped up by the big words then he'll be more frustrated with them than amazed by them.
Thats all the criticism I have, very good work.
JohnEndel959
Brilliant work. Aside from a few places where I got confused by the grammar, I really enjoyed this piece. I was happily reading all the history without any clue of the old man's immortality. Very good.
ZeeAk
Thanks guys. I wrote this for a practice assessment piece, under exam condition, so I'm pretty happy with the way it turned out.